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Friday, May 19, 2017

Chris Cornell

Unbelieveable. I thought it was just a dumb internet rumor when I woke up yesterday and got a group MMS from some friends about his death. He was only in his 50s, this can't be right. Yes the 90s grunge movement in general was heavily influenced by drugs but surely he's been clean now right?

These were the first thoughts that I had yesterday morning. Chris Cornell, the lead singer of Audioslave and Soundgarden has died. I discovered Soundgarden later than usual for some odd reason. I listened to Nirvana, STP, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam but somehow Soundgarden slipped my mind. I first started listening to them in college in the early 2000s. At this time Audioslave was big. Chris had such a soulful voice. In my opinion, him and Layne Staley were the best frontmen of the 90s grunge bands with Kurt Cobain a close 3rd. Chris Cornell was the very definition of a rock star. I can still remember the Stone Temple Pilots Reunion tour that I went to and the reaction he got when he stepped out on stage to join Scott Weiland. I don't remember what song he sang with him but does it matter? This guy was bigger than life.

I felt terrible all day yesterday and still feel bad today. I'm not too proud to admit that I cried a little yesterday on hearing the news. His music was a big part of my life and still continues to be. My prayers are with his family and friends during this tough time.

We've been losing too many great musicians lately. Atleast a small part of him will always live on in his music. God speed Chirs. May you rest in peace in the Superunknown.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Big things popping, little things stopping

Current Mood

I'm feeling good. Hopefully starting to turn a corner in my life and head towards some goals and things that matter. Stay tuned homies.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Election 2016. Welcome to the Shitshow.

So a lot has happened since my last blog post. Video came out of Trump bragging on a bus about how he can grab a woman by the pussy and they love it. Normally this would end an election. However his opponent Hillary Clinton has found herself embroiled again in the investigation of her emails. After the head of the FBI James Comey ended the investigation in July and concluded that she was grossly negligent. He said it was not enough to be indicted. (More on that later). Now, less than a week to election day, new evidence has emerged that may be pertinent to the investigation, and he is re-opening the case. Wikileaks has been releasing the Podesta emails which show corruption in the Clinton Foundation, and potential pay for play deals she made while secretary of state.

With all that being said, I have early voted. While I don't particularly like either of these jokers, none of the 3rd party candidates really appealed to me either. I voted Gary Johnson in 2012 but he seems like a complete idiot. Jill Stein, while well-intentioned, just doesn't have policy deals that make sense. The only candidate that I actually like is Evan McMullin. Yeah, I didn't know who he was either until about a month ago. He's not even on the Texas ballot but is eligible for a write in. He might actually win Utah.

He's basically the result of the #NeverTrump movement from the GOP. I support his conservative values. But realistically, he has no chance to win. Yet another casualty of our outdated 2 party system. So do I write in McMullin as my vote? Or do I prescribe to the "lesser of 2 evils" theory. This was not an easy decision. Personally, I believe the lesser of 2 evils theory is flawed. Just because you don't want someone not to win, you shouldn't vote for their opponent. Whose to say they will do a better job? All these politicians will say one thing and do another. If there is no candidate that you can support, it's better not to vote at all. A protest vote is dumb.

Now, with all that being said, I voted for Trump. I can already hear you say, "You hypocrite!!". Hear me out though. When faced with electing the most corrupt candidate we've ever had; regardless of her experience, I cannot vote for her. It's more than just emails. It's Seth Rich, Benghazi, Clinton Foundation, Bill's mistresses, Iraq war, Drone strikes, being careless with classified info, Wall Street speeches...., the list goes on. Trump is certainly no paragon of justice either. But atleast he seems (or he portrays himself) as someone who is against the establishment. Trump is the nuclear option, the wildcard. I really am hoping he can Make America Great Again. We are already great, but we are politically corrupt. I hope he cleans house. Another factor for my vote is my faith. I am pro-life. I don't want the next president to elect 2 liberal supreme court justices. I would eventually like to see Roe v Wade overturned, or atleast make it a state issue and not a national one.

Whomever wins though, I will get behind them. We're all in this together. This is our country. We have to come together. God help us.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Presidential options (or lack there of...)

  I've purposefully not posted much on politics because quite frankly I'm sick of it.  The American political system has left me jaded as a voter.  It seems like every election year, the candidates with good ides that I actually support are always the first to drops out, leaving me with the quandary of "choosing the lesser of 2 evils...".  This is a huge problem because the lesser of 2 evils; by definition, is still evil.

First let's look at the Democratic Party.  Hillary and Bernie were the 2 main candidates.  Hillary is probably the most corrupt candidate we have ever had.  In a normal election period, she wouldn't stand a chance.  However in this field, she is actually the odds on favorite to win.  Between the Bengazi fiasco, her unsecured emails, donations to her "Clinton foundation", and her constant flip flopping on issues, I don't think I can see myself voting for her.  Bernie had a surprising strong showing early on and still seems to have a ton of support.  His socialist ideas though wouldn't work here.  There's no way he would be able to convince Congress as President to pass any of his crazy ideas.  I do think he is an honest person though, just misguided.  European style socialist programs do have their upsides, I just personally can't see myself voting for a socialist.

Now on to the quagmire that is the Republican Party.  I counted a total of 12 candidates. (There were more that dropped out before the primaries)  Through some crazy happenstance, Trump looks to be the nominee.  Yeah, I know. WTF?  Cruz was the other strong contender.  Even though he's from Texas, I never liked him.  I know all politicians are dishonest to a certain extent but he seems slimier than most.  That and I did not like it when he and some other GOP members shutdown the government in protest of raising the debt ceiling.

So yeah, looks like no matter what, we're screwed.  I could see myself voting 3rd party again as I did last election.  Gary Johnson is running for the libertarian party again and I voted for him last time.  I like his ideals the most but I know realistically he has no chance of winning.  America is a 2 party system and probably always will be.

The main event looks like it will be Hillary vs Trump.  Trump is the populist candidate , but he is purposefully vague on any actual plans he has.  He's the big wildcard.  He used to be very liberal and most of his positions in the past are in direct contrast with what the GOP platform is.  He claims that he is a conservative now, but can he be trusted?  Can Hillary be trusted?


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Friday, May 20, 2016

Days go by

  I've been feeling so much better since I've been on my new medicine!  I feel I've finally get a better understanding of how the disease (illness or whatever) works and how I can better keep myself in check.  It's a shame that Mental Health has such a stigma in this country but I feel that it is changing.

Overall things have been good.  I'm progressing in learning the guitar quite well.  It's reignited my love for music again.  I know it will be a long process to get to the skill level I want to be at but I am excited for the future.  That's definitely something I couldn't say a year from now.

Astros have started to play better finally.  Pitching needs to improve still but the bats are coming alive at least.

Looking forward to my trip to New York next weekend!!  Finally going to see the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.  I've wanted to go ever since I was a kid and now I finally get the chance.  Seeing Biggio's plaque will be special.  Just need to get Bags in there now to join him.  Wakeup baseball writers!!!

Here's to a good rest of the month and year.  Skies are finally clearing.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Astros and life. One and the same?

So again I have strayed from updating my blog.  It gets so easy to forget about this site.  Life gets busy, Bills are due, Events get planned, etc.

The 2016 Major League Baseball season has started and with it comes a sense of spring and renewal.  No matter how my team is projected to finish the year, Opening Day has always been special to me.  Unfortunately I was unable to attend this year though as it was on a Monday.  Every team starts out at 0-0 so no matter if you have a lineup full of stars or scrubs, it gives fans the illusion that this could be the year! Baseball is back! It's springtime!

Like I said above, I feel a sense of renewal every year around this time.  Usually Easter is around the same time (It was early this year), the trees begin blooming again.  The weather gets warmer and I get to put my coats and jackets back in the closet.  It allows me a time to reflect on myself as well.  What am I doing well in my life? What am I struggling with?

I feel I've come a long way as far as my psych meds go.  For the first time in my life, I feel like the medicine I am on is actually doing something and I feel life is more balanced.  I probably haven't felt this good since college.  My self esteem has improved and I am going out more than just staying in.  I've started taking guitar lessons finally and they are coming along great.  I feel my love of music has returned.

Not everything has been coming up Milhouse though (Simpsons reference).  I've struggled with drinking lately.  And I've become more rude to some friends and less religious.  I tried to pray the rosary last week and only got halfway through the week before giving up.

I know that God has a plan for my life but right now, it's so difficult to see the road ahead.  I don't know what the future holds for me.  I'm not depressed and suicidal like I have been in the past, but I just feel kind of hopeless right now.

Speaking of hopeless, what the hell happened to the Astros!? As of today, they are 6-15.  This is a team picked by SI to win it all.  This was supposed to be the year.  With the high expectations from last year, they were supposed to improve on it and play up to their expectations.  Instead they have struggled out the gate and shat the bed.

What is weird is they have individuals playing lights out, but our pitching hasn't been there.  Altuve has been lights out.  Rasmus has been a monster.  Even Tyler White, their rookie starting first baseman was player of the week the first week of the season.  Our pitching, as it currently stands, looks like a pitching machine in a batting cage.  Opponents are currently abusing Astros pitchers with a .283 batting average.  Only the Brewers are worse with an opposing batting average of .293.  They're BABIP (Batting average of balls in play) is really high at ..326 which suggests quite a bit of bad luck.  That number should normalize and come down.

This is a team with the reigning Cy-Young (Keuchel), another pitcher who won 19 games (McHugh), and a team that literally traded the farm for a lights out closer (Giles).  Well first of all, Gregorson won the closer job, Giles has been crap.  McHugh looks bad and even Dallas seems off.

I realize that its still early and that baseball is a long long long season, so I'm trying not to be too fed up and upset.  But when you have a young team that before the season started had so much expectations fall on their face the first month and have nearly the worst record in baseball.  It's tough.  Alas, being an Astros fan has never been easy.

So to tie it all together, I feel like I have great expectations on me.  From my parents, work, friends. And I constantly feel like I am struggling to live up to them.  All I can do is trust in God that there is a plan for this crazy thing called life.


Monday, February 15, 2016

Still alive, I'm ok

Hey guys.  I'm fine.  Sorry about that last post but it truly was how I felt in the moment.  I have things to work through just like everyone else does.  I know I'll be ok.  I'm grateful for my friends and family and all of their support.