Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Presidential options (or lack there of...)

  I've purposefully not posted much on politics because quite frankly I'm sick of it.  The American political system has left me jaded as a voter.  It seems like every election year, the candidates with good ides that I actually support are always the first to drops out, leaving me with the quandary of "choosing the lesser of 2 evils...".  This is a huge problem because the lesser of 2 evils; by definition, is still evil.

First let's look at the Democratic Party.  Hillary and Bernie were the 2 main candidates.  Hillary is probably the most corrupt candidate we have ever had.  In a normal election period, she wouldn't stand a chance.  However in this field, she is actually the odds on favorite to win.  Between the Bengazi fiasco, her unsecured emails, donations to her "Clinton foundation", and her constant flip flopping on issues, I don't think I can see myself voting for her.  Bernie had a surprising strong showing early on and still seems to have a ton of support.  His socialist ideas though wouldn't work here.  There's no way he would be able to convince Congress as President to pass any of his crazy ideas.  I do think he is an honest person though, just misguided.  European style socialist programs do have their upsides, I just personally can't see myself voting for a socialist.

Now on to the quagmire that is the Republican Party.  I counted a total of 12 candidates. (There were more that dropped out before the primaries)  Through some crazy happenstance, Trump looks to be the nominee.  Yeah, I know. WTF?  Cruz was the other strong contender.  Even though he's from Texas, I never liked him.  I know all politicians are dishonest to a certain extent but he seems slimier than most.  That and I did not like it when he and some other GOP members shutdown the government in protest of raising the debt ceiling.

So yeah, looks like no matter what, we're screwed.  I could see myself voting 3rd party again as I did last election.  Gary Johnson is running for the libertarian party again and I voted for him last time.  I like his ideals the most but I know realistically he has no chance of winning.  America is a 2 party system and probably always will be.

The main event looks like it will be Hillary vs Trump.  Trump is the populist candidate , but he is purposefully vague on any actual plans he has.  He's the big wildcard.  He used to be very liberal and most of his positions in the past are in direct contrast with what the GOP platform is.  He claims that he is a conservative now, but can he be trusted?  Can Hillary be trusted?

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Friday, May 20, 2016

Days go by

  I've been feeling so much better since I've been on my new medicine!  I feel I've finally get a better understanding of how the disease (illness or whatever) works and how I can better keep myself in check.  It's a shame that Mental Health has such a stigma in this country but I feel that it is changing.

Overall things have been good.  I'm progressing in learning the guitar quite well.  It's reignited my love for music again.  I know it will be a long process to get to the skill level I want to be at but I am excited for the future.  That's definitely something I couldn't say a year from now.

Astros have started to play better finally.  Pitching needs to improve still but the bats are coming alive at least.

Looking forward to my trip to New York next weekend!!  Finally going to see the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.  I've wanted to go ever since I was a kid and now I finally get the chance.  Seeing Biggio's plaque will be special.  Just need to get Bags in there now to join him.  Wakeup baseball writers!!!

Here's to a good rest of the month and year.  Skies are finally clearing.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Astros and life. One and the same?

So again I have strayed from updating my blog.  It gets so easy to forget about this site.  Life gets busy, Bills are due, Events get planned, etc.

The 2016 Major League Baseball season has started and with it comes a sense of spring and renewal.  No matter how my team is projected to finish the year, Opening Day has always been special to me.  Unfortunately I was unable to attend this year though as it was on a Monday.  Every team starts out at 0-0 so no matter if you have a lineup full of stars or scrubs, it gives fans the illusion that this could be the year! Baseball is back! It's springtime!

Like I said above, I feel a sense of renewal every year around this time.  Usually Easter is around the same time (It was early this year), the trees begin blooming again.  The weather gets warmer and I get to put my coats and jackets back in the closet.  It allows me a time to reflect on myself as well.  What am I doing well in my life? What am I struggling with?

I feel I've come a long way as far as my psych meds go.  For the first time in my life, I feel like the medicine I am on is actually doing something and I feel life is more balanced.  I probably haven't felt this good since college.  My self esteem has improved and I am going out more than just staying in.  I've started taking guitar lessons finally and they are coming along great.  I feel my love of music has returned.

Not everything has been coming up Milhouse though (Simpsons reference).  I've struggled with drinking lately.  And I've become more rude to some friends and less religious.  I tried to pray the rosary last week and only got halfway through the week before giving up.

I know that God has a plan for my life but right now, it's so difficult to see the road ahead.  I don't know what the future holds for me.  I'm not depressed and suicidal like I have been in the past, but I just feel kind of hopeless right now.

Speaking of hopeless, what the hell happened to the Astros!? As of today, they are 6-15.  This is a team picked by SI to win it all.  This was supposed to be the year.  With the high expectations from last year, they were supposed to improve on it and play up to their expectations.  Instead they have struggled out the gate and shat the bed.

What is weird is they have individuals playing lights out, but our pitching hasn't been there.  Altuve has been lights out.  Rasmus has been a monster.  Even Tyler White, their rookie starting first baseman was player of the week the first week of the season.  Our pitching, as it currently stands, looks like a pitching machine in a batting cage.  Opponents are currently abusing Astros pitchers with a .283 batting average.  Only the Brewers are worse with an opposing batting average of .293.  They're BABIP (Batting average of balls in play) is really high at ..326 which suggests quite a bit of bad luck.  That number should normalize and come down.

This is a team with the reigning Cy-Young (Keuchel), another pitcher who won 19 games (McHugh), and a team that literally traded the farm for a lights out closer (Giles).  Well first of all, Gregorson won the closer job, Giles has been crap.  McHugh looks bad and even Dallas seems off.

I realize that its still early and that baseball is a long long long season, so I'm trying not to be too fed up and upset.  But when you have a young team that before the season started had so much expectations fall on their face the first month and have nearly the worst record in baseball.  It's tough.  Alas, being an Astros fan has never been easy.

So to tie it all together, I feel like I have great expectations on me.  From my parents, work, friends. And I constantly feel like I am struggling to live up to them.  All I can do is trust in God that there is a plan for this crazy thing called life.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Still alive, I'm ok

Hey guys.  I'm fine.  Sorry about that last post but it truly was how I felt in the moment.  I have things to work through just like everyone else does.  I know I'll be ok.  I'm grateful for my friends and family and all of their support.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Still Alive

I'm broken.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.  Recently my doctor diagnosed me as mild bi-polar, along with depression.  I'm not sure if the meds are helping, hurting, or doing nothing.  This weekend has been an emotional roller coaster.  One moment I'm laughing, one moment I'm crying.

I felt like I was making major progress this week.  Finally getting over things that have been bothering me.  Then something happens, my plans don't turn out the way I want, and I act irrational.  In the moment, it seems totally rational.  But afterwards looking back, I wonder WTF was going on.

I'm talking in generalities on purpose.  I'm not sure how much in detail I want to go into in a forum like this.  But I haven't updated in nearly a year and I feel like I needed to write something.

I hate this feeling.  This feeling of helplessness.  I know I will feel differently tomorrow probably and realize how silly this all is.  But right now, I am not OK.

Over and out.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Racial tensions in Baltimore and Police brutality

It's taken me awhile to properly gather my thoughts on this whole mess.  I didn't want to seem to rash in my judgement but I also feel its too important to be ignored by someone such as myself who occasionally blog about politics and current events.

First off, I think most of us can agree that America is still dealing with racial issues.  Although as a society we have become more progressive, there is still a vocal minority among us that carry the same prejudices as some of our past citizens when it comes to race.  The issue of racial profiling by police is not new.  I would say its pretty widespread.  Obviously as a white male, I feel somewhat limited in what I can say on the matter as I personally haven't been affected.  I can only comment on what I observe.

The issue in Baltimore of the death of Freddie Gray in police custody is a complicated one.  On the surface it looks to be clearly the fault of the arresting officers.  Why wasn't he strapped in a seat belt?  Why was he cuffed?  I still haven't heard exactly what the crime was that he was charged with other than resisting arrest.  The community's reaction, terrible as it was, can certainly be seen as just in their eyes.  Yet another death of an unarmed black man by police.  The people want answers and justifiably so.

There are just as many questions on what was going through Freddie Grey's mind during the time he was in the vehicle.  Was he on drugs?  Was he willfully throwing himself against the walls?  Did the other prisoner in the vehicle cause an altercation?  I feel like the answers to these and other questions will eventually come out but we must not be too quick in judgement.  I know that's easier said then done.

My thoughts and prayers are with Freddie Gray's family and the Baltimore community as a whole.  I am hoping some good can come from all of this and that they can heal as a community.

Friday, April 17, 2015

New update finally

Finally decided to post a new blog. Here I am, sitting at my favorite bar and I just got an itch to write. 

Lots of things have happened since my last post. I feel that I've grown in a lot of ways. I realize now that people, even longtime friends you care about, will let you down. I've also learned that I've overreacted to some things in the past. I know I'm being vague here but I'm not quite ready to publicly talk about it. If you ask me privately I would probably share. 

I think I've finally moved past the worst part of the grieving process for my brother. I was really hard on myself for a lot of things that I didn't do for him but I've finally accepted it. I still think about him a lot and I miss him. I know that he's in a better place. I also realize that it was God's plan, even if I can't understand it. 

My office has moved from Park 10 to a place off Harwin and it's a pretty big change.  The upside is there's a lot of great places to eat nearby, but the building and surrounding area is much worse.  I'm still getting used to it but things seem to be improving.